Cat Dogma

Pearl and Saber have lived with their new humans in Minnetonka, MN for almost three months now.  They worked hard on putting the house in order, but much remains to be done.  Humans can be very stubborn about accepting new routines, so constant supervision has been necessary.  To assist other cats with their human training, Pearl and Saber share some household philosophies below. 


  • It is mandatory to use the litterbox immediately after a human scoops it clean, even if kitty just “performed.”  This act serves as a gentle reminder to humans that their work is never done.
  • The recommended portion size on cat food is intended only for those ultra-thin feline models.  Normal cats need triple that.
  • It’s best if people never know what happens when they are not home.  
  • Fascinating things are always happening behind closed doors and cats are entitled to observe said things upon demand. 
  • If one cat in the lap is a good idea, then two cats is a better idea.  Humans especially appreciate an overcrowded lap when trying to type. 
  • When people say “no-no” to cats, it’s just a suggestion.
  • Satisfying the wishes of cats is humans’ highest calling.  Satisfying people’s wishes is an afterthought for cats, at best. 
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